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- Chimera of Life -
Story Two: Probe the Psyche
~*~
‘I love you too, Charlie.’
Her answer reverberated in
his head again and again, like an echo in a deserted valley… He felt as though
suddenly pushed into a burning pit of fire and then punctured with spears… He
couldn’t move for God knew how long… But when he heard her chair scrape back,
his feet automatically brought him running up the stairs as if dogs were after
him, into her room, and slipping into her bed. Yet now, he felt oddly cold…
Oddly… dead…
“Good morning Heero.”
He heard her cheerful
greeting, but he didn’t care… He felt her sit beside him, but the excitement
that used to come when she was near, was now replaced by indescribable pain.
How could she sleep with him and show him so much when she loved another…?
Relena leaned down to kiss
him.
He felt the bed move… He
knew exactly what she was going to do and quickly turned away.
She frowned, confused at the
blatant show of disregard, then shrugged. Heero could be moody sometimes…
though this one was a first… “I’m going to the park this afternoon-”
“Fine!” He couldn’t stop the
snarl that left his lips.
His tone nearly made her
jump but she kept her smile, though it faltered while she faced Heero’s back.
“Aren’t you going with me? You’re my bodyguard-”
The mere fact that she’s
acting like an innocent bitch… Damn her. “No. I’m not. You can take care of
yourself.”
Anger caught hold of her
first. She glared at him, confused, worried, and hurt. “Heero Yuy! What has
gotten into you?”
He raised his eyebrow at
her, mocking her and making her feel insignificant to hide the pain he could
feel. “Why don’t you ask yourself that question.”
Relena shook her head. Why did he say that? Why is he looking at
her like that? “Why are you acting like an obstinate boy…?”
“I don’t know!” He stood up
from the bed, naked like a newborn baby in all his glory, and glowered at her
as if she was the worst thing he had ever laid eyes on. “I don’t know! I don’t
know myself anymore!!!” Without another word, Heero stomped out of her room,
straight into his, and banged the door shut.
Relena stared at her open
door with wide eyes… Her anger turned to shock… and now, a sudden coldness
enveloped her as she looked down at the bed and… the feeling that…
She reached out, touched
that slight dip on her bed where he lay just a little while ago, and felt the
warmth from his body… slowly disappear… She closed her eyes while a sob escaped
her lips… ‘What… happened?’
Her shoulders shook… a hand
curled over the blanket Heero had used while another went to her lips. “I
won’t… I won’t…” Her broken whisper reached no one’s ears. Slowly, she stilled.
With a deep, trembling breath, Relena stood up then opened her eyes to look at
the beautiful sprawling world outside her window. Her eyes sparkled with tears,
yet none fell. She had cried enough and it was time to stop… It was time to
accept…
‘It’s over… It’s all over…’
…
He should have gone with
her… First, because he was her bodyguard… Second, because… he would like to see
this asshole Charlie… Who’s this man who stole her heart, and left his gasping
for life? Damn the man. He could remember the time when he asked Relena if she
had ever been in love before… She said ‘maybe’- was it Charlie?
‘For someone who’s going to
meet the one you love, Relena, you look as if you’re about to go to a funeral.’
The observation came out of nowhere and he did a double take to make sure… True
enough, she had a long face. He could tell, even when her face was covered by
the shadow of her hat. She was also looking down on her hands, endlessly
twisting a handkerchief. Heero frowned, trying to figure whether or not… ‘Is
she… crying?’
“Relena!”
Her name, shouted from the
other side by an unfamiliar voice, garnered Heero’s attention. A man in jeans
and plain blue shirt with a khaki jacket came into view. He had an…. acceptable
face, with sandy blonde hair… blue eyes… six one in height… It doesn’t take a
genius to know who he is—Charlie.
Heero’s competitive streak
came out. His hands flexed open and
close… If he had a missile launcher with him right now… Target sighted and
locked… Maybe he should just kill the man.
His hand curled around his
gun, but when he glanced at Relena and saw how her sad demeanor completely
disappeared as she stood up and waved her hand… he couldn’t do it. It was
torture to stay still while the woman he lo-
He blinked, slightly
confused. What was that word he was about to say? No… It couldn’t be. Heero
shook his head. He should just leave and save himself some pain, but…
Slowly, he squatted lower to
the ground, released the tight hold on his gun, and then punched the green
grass to let his frustration out. It
had been so long that he had a thirst for death. How ironic that- he peered
through that small opening behind the bush- the person who lives for peace was
the one who incited it in him.
…
“Over here, Charlie!” Relena
pushed Heero to the back of her mind as she waited for her second favorite man
to come up to her-
“Relena.” Charlie’s hands
wrapped around her waist and the two hugged each other like there was no
tomorrow. “God! I missed you.”
“I missed you too, Charlie…
a lot.” Relena buried her nose against
the lapel of his jacket while he kissed her cheek. She was glad for the warmth
and support. She needed it right now… How she wished that it was Heero’s arms
around her, but… Charlie is a good enough substitute… or Duo, Quatre… even
Wufei… sweet Wufei. That thought brought a smile to her face. She misses that
loud mouth. “But now, it’s your fault.”
“I know… The boss had been
giving me too many assignments.”
“Well, all I’m saying is
it’s your fault this time. Now you’re the one with the tight schedule, not me.”
Her arms tightened around his waist when tears suddenly started to threaten
once again. Why did it have to start right now…? Was it because he was hugging
her as if she was someone special when she did not feel like that at all…?
“Relena?” Charlie gently
pushed her away as he felt the pressure from her embrace. The last time Relena had hugged him like
that… that sort of hug was when her butler had died. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
The telltale sniffle was
enough evidence of the lie. “Relena, this isn’t fair.” He caught her chin and
forced her to look at him. “We promised. You know I’m here for you… Please…” He
couldn’t stand seeing her like this. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
Relena shook her head while
her grip around Charlie’s waist tightened. “I don’t know where to start… You’ll
probably think that this is all trivial anyway…”
“Tell the truth and nothing
but the truth and let me make that judgment myself.” The soft laughter that
left Relena made him smile. It was a bad joke, but she got it.
“You and your courtroom
lingo.” Relena gave him a light punch. If anyone could see them right now,
they’d think that she and Charlie were lovers… Of course… they did consider
that probability a long time ago. They
weighed the possibilities with a rational mind, shared a kiss or two, but… they
were better off as best friends… being step brother and sister was an added
bonus.
“Hey, got a laugh from you,
didn’t I? Besides, what good am I as part of your family if I can’t be there
for you?” Charlie chucked her chin then made her look into his eyes. “I’m gonna
tell you something I hope no one would ever hear.”
“Really?” The contrast between the twinkle in his eyes and the severity of his tone made her grin. “What is it?”
Charlie’s hands cupped
Relena’s face to make her see that he was serious. He knew how much she missed
her real brother and that, according to Duo and the others, she had been through
some tough times with love. He tried to say it as often as he could, just to
show her that she isn’t alone in this world, and he could only hope that it
helps. “I love you, sis…”
Relena’s lips trembled. “Oh
Charlie…” She stepped forward and hugged him once again. How did he know that
she needed someone to tell her those words right now? That she was craving for
them? Why couldn’t Zechs be like him? Why couldn’t her real brother be beside
her, like this? Why couldn’t Heero…? “I love you too… my brother…”
…
He watched as Charlie
reached her and then gave her a bear hug… Then he nearly lunged out of the
bushes when he saw Charlie lean down to kiss her!
“God! I missed you so much!”
Heero stared at Relena, his
ears waiting for her answer…
“I missed you too, Charlie…
A lot.”
He suddenly felt his drained
and his anger disappeared. His eyes could seem to look away though he ached for
them to close. He watched as Relena buried her face against his chest, as
Charlie kissed her beautiful hair, as the two stayed in each other’s arms…
There was something between
those two. A certain closeness he couldn’t describe, but he knew he envied. He
wanted to grab Relena, jerk her away, and lock her up. He wanted to break that
man’s nose and pound him to the ground… He wanted more than ever to kill a
person, but right now… he couldn’t look any more. That feeling of death slowly
crept over his entire being like a burning hole until all he wanted to do was
to wash it away… wash it away like bloodstains that wouldn’t disappear…
He found himself in front of
her house… How he reached it was a mystery, but he didn’t care as he callously
walked to his room, and then straight into the bathroom… He didn’t even bother
to take off his clothes as he entered the shower, grabbed one of the knobs, and
twisted it. Cold water hit his chest.
A wet hand went up to his
face when he felt liquid on his cheeks… He frowned, confused. Why were his
cheeks wet when water hadn’t touched it, yet…? Why couldn’t he focus his eyes?
Why in the damn hell did it feel as if this whole sordid event was his fault?!
He couldn’t control the
tumult of emotions that seemed to seize his chest. He couldn’t understand it.
He hates it. He hates it when he doesn’t know what to do! He hates it when he
doesn’t have any control.
With a frustrated growl,
Heero faced the marble wall then punched it over and over again… as hard as he
could… until his knuckles bled… until he heard them crack… until a painful,
heart-wrenching cry echoed in the house…
His body slid down to his
knees like a lifeless doll, rocked back then dropped on his buttocks… Cold
water continued to splay on his feet while he hunched over his legs. Bloodied
hands covered his face while his shoulders rocked with years of unspent tears…
choking him… punishing him… tormenting him…
{Heartfire’s Note: Hello
readers. I know that sometimes it’s time consuming whenever you are trying to
find out if the story you are following had been updated. I’ve started making
an email list, and I give out a small message whenever I update Chimera. If you
would like to receive this, just email me. ^_^ Take care!}